Two-for-one

There isn't much that would compel me to write two blogs in one day... however, this just couldn't be left unsaid:


Holy Overabundance of Motorcycle Hotties, Batman!


I'm tellin' ya... if I didn't have an adorable boyfriend who I completely adore, some poor biker would probably find himself under attack.

*Drool*

Bikers, baby

We are smack dab in the middle of Bike Week here, and while it annoys the heck out of most of the area residents, I kind of love it. The constant rumble, the new and interesting faces that pop into the library every so often, the traffic back-ups... well, ok... I don't love EVERYTHING about Bike Week.

I think I just really like the idea that for one week out of the year, the place where I grew up is a popular tourist attraction. Because the rest of the year? Not so much.

Besides that, my little man is a lover of all things motorcycle, so having them all over the place is tres, tres exciting for him.

A few years ago, around Bike Week, I went on a couple of dates with a guy who was doing some of the work on our new library addition. I'm not sure it was completely kosher, and in hindsight, I'm not sure what I was thinking going out with a guy who wore a hard hat with a highly visible "Crotch Cannibal" sticker on it, but he was cute and I was young and single, so hey... why the heck not?

Anyway, he had two motorcycles; one sportsbike and one cruiser (or whatever those bigger hogs are called), and one of our dates consisted of him taking me out for a ride on the sportsbike. Without a helmet. (Yes, yes, I KNOW how dangerous that was, and no, I've never done it since). But oh man, was that exhilerating.

Shaws' Guy had a Ducati. And another one of my exes had a bike. (Apparently I'm attracted to the biker boys). However, Mr. Krutchy has nothing of the sort, and probably never WILL, so it looks like I am motorcycle-less this year... unless I get a license of my own.

Hmmmm...

Bare bones

There were bones (bones!) in my tuna fish sandwich yesterday. And they looked like human baby teeth. So, obviously I retired THAT sandwich to the garbage can immediately and went upstairs to tell my co-workers about it. One of them (very helpfully, I might add) said, "Maybe they were rat teeth."

Ew. Just... ew.

She also wanted me to go back to the trash can and dig out the hard toothy-looking things. I'm pretty sure her idea was to send them to the tuna company or something, but 1. There was no way I was going digging through the trash, and 2. What would be the point? All the free tuna fish I could eat? There's no way I'm going NEAR that stuff for at least 6 months.

Rat teeth... yick.

Oh. My. Word.

I took the little man for his Kindergarten screening this morning, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that, holy crap, I'm about to have TWO children in school. And yeah, I was young(ish) when they were born, but dang I feel old.

Before we left, we spent a whole going over the letters of the alphabet (he got about 20 of them right) and the numbers 1-10 (ALL of them... woot woot), and when we got to the school, I had a little taste of what sending on the school bus in the fall might be like; the screener led my little guy away and he didn't even look back once. The school secretary (who doesn't seem to have aged a day since *I* was in elementary school) looked at me and said, "You can't have two kids in school!" And I told her, truthfully, "I'm SO not ready for this." *Sigh*

When the testing was over, the little man came up to me, full of chatter about the questions he'd been asked. He said, "I got every single one right! They only asked me the easy letters!"

I love him.

And come late August/early September, when he steps out of pre-school-hood, and into big-boy-in-school-ville, I'm totally going to be bawling my eyes out.

Sniff sniff

You know how sometimes a smell can hit you with a memory so strong that you actually have to stop what you're doing because you've kind of forgotten everything else for a moment? That happened tonight.

It was a towel, and I had just taken it out of the dryer, but for some reason it had a slightly different scent than the rest of the clean towels; it smelled like L's laundry. And that's really weird, because L hasn't lived here in over a year. L's laundry always smelled a little bit metallic, I think. This will sound weird, but if you go to a clothing store and end up carrying around a bunch of hangers, sniff your hand afterwards (although try to do it when no one is looking, because you don't want people wondering about you)... that's the smell that L's laundry used to have. And I loved it. I don't know why exactly, I just did. (Yes, I KNOW I'm weird.)

Getting that little whiff of the towel sent me tailspinning into about 15 different memories all at once, and I'll admit that for about 5 seconds I couldn't move. After that, I was ok, but sheeeeesh.

Maybe it's time for new towels.

Smoking is bad for you

Apparently, my daughter has appointed herself Cigarette Police, and I'm not exactly sure why this is. No one in my family smokes, so she knows very little about cigarettes in general, but starting from the time she was approximately three years old, whenever we walked by someone who was smoking, Em would start up with this hacking (and believe me, completely fake) cough. It's actually hilarious, but probably not so much if you're the person it's directed at. And I tend not to laugh as hard when that person is a big burly motorcycle dude or something. Lately, she's taken up actually TELLING them that smoking is bad for them. And while that is completely and inarguably true, I don't think smokers appreciate hearing that.

Anyway, this weekend, as we were driving to Krutchy's softball game, I said to both of the kids, "Ok, guys, listen. A lot of people at the game are going to be swearing. You're not allowed to repeat any of those words. Got it? Also, a lot of people will be smoking. Please don't tell them it's bad for them. They KNOW it's bad for them, and even though I know you're just thinking about their health and that's very sweet, they really don't want to hear that from you. Ok?" And they did me proud. I didn't hear a single swear or guilt trip out of either one of them.

So today I was recounting all of this to Brian, and he told me something that made me laugh for about three minutes. His 6 year-old son (who is one of the funniest kids I have ever met) recently walked up to someone who was sucking on a cigarette, and whispered in that person's ear, "I think smoking smells good."

Kids... they so crack me up.

No, seriously... in the heeeeeeaaat of the moment.

Maybe it's because of my last blog title, but this song has been stuck in my head alllll day. Not the original, silly. No, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD62fcfYqHw&feature=related is the version I can't seem to get rid of. I've been humming it pretty much non-stop all afternoon and evening... and yes, that includes the hour I was manning the adult desk at work. I'm pretty sure several people now think I'm a complete weirdo. Eh. They're just lucky I didn't do the "knee-clap, knee-clap, hand-clap" thing, because I was TOTALLY doing it my head.

Of course... if you don't like Asia, then there's always http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcmOe2geZ4Q&feature=related instead, which is just as entertaining in its own way.

Yeah... sorry. I'm pretty sure all this heat is starting to affect my brain. I'll try to steer clear of blogging until it cools down juuust a bit.

And now I am off to watch some mindless television, because I think that's about all I can handle at the moment...

P.S. One of these days, I promise I'll learn how to stick a word or two in place of the whole entire website. Grrr.