Smoking is bad for you

Apparently, my daughter has appointed herself Cigarette Police, and I'm not exactly sure why this is. No one in my family smokes, so she knows very little about cigarettes in general, but starting from the time she was approximately three years old, whenever we walked by someone who was smoking, Em would start up with this hacking (and believe me, completely fake) cough. It's actually hilarious, but probably not so much if you're the person it's directed at. And I tend not to laugh as hard when that person is a big burly motorcycle dude or something. Lately, she's taken up actually TELLING them that smoking is bad for them. And while that is completely and inarguably true, I don't think smokers appreciate hearing that.

Anyway, this weekend, as we were driving to Krutchy's softball game, I said to both of the kids, "Ok, guys, listen. A lot of people at the game are going to be swearing. You're not allowed to repeat any of those words. Got it? Also, a lot of people will be smoking. Please don't tell them it's bad for them. They KNOW it's bad for them, and even though I know you're just thinking about their health and that's very sweet, they really don't want to hear that from you. Ok?" And they did me proud. I didn't hear a single swear or guilt trip out of either one of them.

So today I was recounting all of this to Brian, and he told me something that made me laugh for about three minutes. His 6 year-old son (who is one of the funniest kids I have ever met) recently walked up to someone who was sucking on a cigarette, and whispered in that person's ear, "I think smoking smells good."

Kids... they so crack me up.

No, seriously... in the heeeeeeaaat of the moment.

Maybe it's because of my last blog title, but this song has been stuck in my head alllll day. Not the original, silly. No, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD62fcfYqHw&feature=related is the version I can't seem to get rid of. I've been humming it pretty much non-stop all afternoon and evening... and yes, that includes the hour I was manning the adult desk at work. I'm pretty sure several people now think I'm a complete weirdo. Eh. They're just lucky I didn't do the "knee-clap, knee-clap, hand-clap" thing, because I was TOTALLY doing it my head.

Of course... if you don't like Asia, then there's always http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcmOe2geZ4Q&feature=related instead, which is just as entertaining in its own way.

Yeah... sorry. I'm pretty sure all this heat is starting to affect my brain. I'll try to steer clear of blogging until it cools down juuust a bit.

And now I am off to watch some mindless television, because I think that's about all I can handle at the moment...

P.S. One of these days, I promise I'll learn how to stick a word or two in place of the whole entire website. Grrr.

We're gonna sleep gooooood tonight

Things I managed to fit into just one day:

1. The little man's birthday party. Which, in case you were wondering, consisted mostly of girl guests. Turns out my little dude is quite the ladies' man. We decided on a venue of McDonalds this year, mainly because having it there meant that I didn't have to do any of the work. And they were awesome about everything, so it made me feel a little less guilty about feeding my own children (and several others) completely unhealthy food.

2. A trip to the town beach. Brian called almost immediately after the party, and asked if I wanted to take the kids to the lake. Now, I'm not exactly sure what Brian was thinking, since he had been at the birthday party with his son, and was as exhausted as I was, but I gladly went because, hey, how many gorgeous 85-degree days do we get in New Hampshire? Answer: not many. Guess what, though? Lake water in early June is fricking FREEZING. We haven't had enough sunny hot days to warm it up properly, so while the kids thought it was great, Brian and I nearly froze to death.

3. Laundry. One of my least favorite chores, but if I do it on Saturday, then I get Sunday to relax. So this is the one area where I try my hardest not to procrastinate.

4. Grocery shopping. Another chore/errand that I'm not particularly fond of. Add that to the fact that my children were having an extremely hard time listening (probably due to the overabundance of sugar/sun they got today), and it made for a slightly nightmarish shopping trip.

But now all of that is done, which means that I can actually enjoy my Sunday. And just so you know, this particular Sunday it's supposed to reach temperatures of 95 degrees or so. The kids and I have plans to spend the majority of the day outside at Krutchy's softball game, and I've already started a mental list of all the things that I need. At the top: sunscreen, sunscreen and more sunscreen. Because after last week's burn (which is just now, very attractively I might add, starting to peel off like crazy), I'm smartening up.

And now, I think I'll go crash in my bed for about 10 hours.

Burp

Want to know what my absolute favorite thing about my children is?

Their senses of humor.

I don't know how many times I've heard from random strangers that my kids are extremely happy... but every single time it makes me smile. The little man, especially, is hardly ever without a grin on his face. Have you ever tried being sad or angry with two little rays of sunshine constantly in your general vicinity? It's nearly impossible.

So last night at the restaurant, the little man was doing his thing, working the room. He adores being the center of attention, and apparently decided that burping was the way to do that. So (like an idiot), I encouraged him, asking, "Can you burp the alphabet?" He assured me he could, and went on to attempt to prove it:

"Urp: that was an A. Urp: that was a B. Urp: that was a C."

And then... of course...

"Urp: that was a fart."

I'll admit it, my son has no class. But he IS pretty darn hilarious, and personally I think that's far more important.

Farmer wants a wha...?

There's a good possiblity that reality tv is reaching even lower lows in "Farmer Wants a Wife." The dude totally just broke up with one of the girls by putting her name in fireworks in front of the whole town at the county fair. However, does that mean I don't watch the show? Heeeeell no. I am, apparently, a glutton for punishment. *Sigh*

So tomorrow is Jenni's birthday, and since her wonderful husband is taking her on some kind of surprise trip to celebrate, our family got together tonight instead. The ten of us met at our favorite local Chinese restaurant and chowed down, before heading back to my apartment for some delish cake with whipped cream and fruit on top. Oh-so-yummy.

I love hanging out with my family. Sure, we argue... we're a normal family. But it's also completely obvious that we all love each other to pieces. And when we're together, we laugh a TON. So yay, Jenni! Thank you for having a birthday. ;o)

Biker dude

The little man turned 5 a week and a half ago.

Today, he learned to ride a two-wheeler. He just looked at me and said, "Mommy, can you take the training wheels off my bike?" So I did, figuring that I'd be putting them back on within a couple of minutes. Only, he totally proved me wrong. I gave him a couple of little pushes and that little guy was off and riding.

My kids are growing up way, way, way too fast.

Cock-a-doodle DON'T

Ok, I'm supposed to be blogging about "home," so here goes: Want to know what woke me up this morning (hey, it works with the NaBloPoMo theme... I was HOME when I was asleep)? A rooster. At, like, 5 am. A fricking ROOSTER, for goodness sake!

Anyway, down to the real business of today's blog:

Today I was working at the adult desk and a guy came in to see if we had a fax machine he could use. We don't. I mean, we HAVE one, we just don't allow the public to use it because we're mean like that. Anyway, I kind of wish we did, because (and I am SO not kidding here) this guy looked EXACTLY like Mark Wahlberg. I mean, not dirty and scruffy like Mark Wahlberg usually looks in his movies. He was all clean-cut and nicely dressed, but still...

And yes, I will admit, I have been absolutely and completely sure that I saw movie stars in random places before. Most memorably, Richard Dreyfuss in the Dalles, Oregon; and Greg Kinnear in Port Clyde, Maine. My family STILL picks on me for the possible Richard Dreyfuss sighting, and that happened 13 years ago. So I hesitate to mention things like this.

But seriously, people. This guy was a dead-ringer for MW. And you never know... it COULD have been him. I'm just sayin'... I think he was kind of looking at me like he was waiting for me to say something. I didn't take the bait, though. No way was I gonna be like, "Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look JUST like Mark Wahlberg?" He probably gets that all the time.

Ok, I know you're all thinking, "Would she just shut up about Mark Wahlberg already?" You're right. Shutting up now. But if he comes in again... I'm not making any promises.