Bounce, sausages.

The other day, I was picking apart some rotisserie chicken to put in a salad that I was making for lunch, and suddenly I had this thought that oh my gosh, ew, I was ripping cooked animal flesh. And for just a moment, I wondered if maybe I should go vegetarian.

Two days later, I accidentally bought Morningstar brand sausages. Now, I didn’t know this until Tim enlightenend me (after, of course, I had already eaten a sausage link), but apparently that company only makes vegetarian foods. And holy crap, you guys. That shiznit was nasty. All mushy-smooshy inside, and the one link I managed to choke down tasted nothing like the sausage I’m used to eating. When I first put it on the kids’ plates, Gavin astutely remarked, "That looks like poop." Yup. And tastes like it too (I mean, I inagine that’s what poop tastes like... I haven’t actually tried it, to be honest with you.)

Anyway, the morals of this story?

1. I could never be a vegetarian. Maybe I should just stop preparing my own meals and hire a chef. That way, I don’t have to ever actually touch my food with my fingers, and I won’t even think about chicken flesh.

2. Oh my word, if you only ever take one piece of advice from me, let it be this: don’t eat vegetarian sausage, unless you enjoy feeling like you’re going to barf.

3. I don’t even care that I spent, like, 4 bucks on ten sausage links. Those things are SO in the garbage.

The end.