Young at heart

Fact: I'm turning 28 in less than two weeks.

Fact: Emilee decided she needed to take a sick day today, so I went to her school to pick her up right after lunchtime.

Fact: There was a woman in the office who I've never met before, and we had this conversation:

Her: Can I help you?
Me: I'm here to pick up my daughter.
Her: Whose class is she in?
Me: (insert teacher's name here).
Her: You're probably gonna laugh, but at first I thought you were the high school girl who volunteers here.

Fact: That woman totally made my rainy Tuesday.

Secrets

Confessions:

1. I don't know how to use chopsticks. I've been taught; I've just never been able to figure it out. What I need are those cute little ones that are tied together for kids, because I can totally work those things.

2. Sometimes when people use big words that I don't know, I pretend to understand by just nodding my head. I've actually been called on it a few times.

3. This weekend, I cleaned my pantry for the first time in 3 1/2 years. In other words, it hasn't been clean and/or organized since the day I moved in.

4. I looove balogna and cheese sandwiches. And no, I don't care what balogna is made out of.

5. I reminisce a little too often. It's probably not all that healthy.

6. I've only just started recycling.

7. I can't have different foods on the same plate touching each other. And if anyone ever has the audacity to tell me I have to eat my dessert on my dinner plate (grandparents are famous for doing this), I wash my plate (and utensil) off first.

8. I love the ocean, but it also scares me a little.

9. I am a lurker on a crap-ton of blogs. I wonder if the authors of those blogs care.

10. I wish I had a dog.

Tweet, tweet.

So, I just signed up for Twitter. The only problem is that I don't actually know anyone else who uses it, so it's basically just a whole lot of me posting, "eating a peanut butter a jelly sandwich," or, "twiddling my thumbs." Exciting, I know. I signed up for it because I'm nosy, and now I get to read what random people are doing all day. However, I'd much rather read what people I actually know are up to.

Rawr.

Bounce, sausages.

The other day, I was picking apart some rotisserie chicken to put in a salad that I was making for lunch, and suddenly I had this thought that oh my gosh, ew, I was ripping cooked animal flesh. And for just a moment, I wondered if maybe I should go vegetarian.

Two days later, I accidentally bought Morningstar brand sausages. Now, I didn’t know this until Tim enlightenend me (after, of course, I had already eaten a sausage link), but apparently that company only makes vegetarian foods. And holy crap, you guys. That shiznit was nasty. All mushy-smooshy inside, and the one link I managed to choke down tasted nothing like the sausage I’m used to eating. When I first put it on the kids’ plates, Gavin astutely remarked, "That looks like poop." Yup. And tastes like it too (I mean, I inagine that’s what poop tastes like... I haven’t actually tried it, to be honest with you.)

Anyway, the morals of this story?

1. I could never be a vegetarian. Maybe I should just stop preparing my own meals and hire a chef. That way, I don’t have to ever actually touch my food with my fingers, and I won’t even think about chicken flesh.

2. Oh my word, if you only ever take one piece of advice from me, let it be this: don’t eat vegetarian sausage, unless you enjoy feeling like you’re going to barf.

3. I don’t even care that I spent, like, 4 bucks on ten sausage links. Those things are SO in the garbage.

The end.